The GilmerMetcalves

We're back!

2012-02-07T22:27:00.000-08:00

And roundin' up romance at the Valentine Ball!

It's here!

2011-05-06T11:45:00.001-07:00

Here's "Cigs and Whiskey" at last! Available at all gigs, of course, and at this exclusive GilmerMetcalves Fan Link!

And here are some photos from last night's incredible album release party at the fabulous Anca de Rana Lounge in beautiful Frognot, Texas!
You could smell the anticipation late afternoon at the venue!

The boys rocked the club so hard getting an photo in focus was impossible!

Chloe was impressed by this cowboy's taste in chaps!

As usual the men's room was incapacitated in a matter of hours!

Crazy Horse was there!

After the all night country rockin' knock-down-drag-out we spied these revelers at an early breakfast talking about how "Cigs and Whiskey" will change the direction of contemporary music!

"Cigs and Whiskey" Album Release Party!

2011-05-05T17:38:00.001-07:00

The "Cigs and Whiskey" Album Release Party and concert by The GilmerMetcalves and three other country rockin' bands is only a few hours away!

As you can see, the excitement is mounting like an anxious steed at the venue, the fabulous Anca de Rana Lounge in beautiful Frognot, Texas! Be the first in line so you won't miss a note!

Click the pix to see them bigger!

Overheard at the Wrestling ring!

2011-04-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

This video was sent to GilmerMetcalves World Headquarters and Music Ranch in the wee hours of Sunday morning! The word is out! Look for the official announcement soon!

"Cow Party 2 Step"

2011-01-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

It's here! The first video from The GilmerMetcalves upcoming release, "Cigs and Whiskey"! It's for their dance floor opus "Cow Party 2 Step"! We dare you to stay still in the saddle!
- Chloe "It Keeps My Saddle Busy" Kleimenhagen, with The GilmerMetcalves, 2011

Click here for Official GilmerMetcalves Ranchwear® and more Official GilmerMetcalves Merchandise® than you can shake a steer's tail at!
"Cigs and Whiskey" will be available at this link soon!

The Official GilmerMetcalves 2011 Calendar®!

2011-01-06T16:27:00.000-08:00

Just in time for the New Year! Take back those Argyle socks and Fruit-of-the-Looms your Aunt Sadie gave you, get the cash and go for what you really want: The GilmerMetcalves Official 2011 Calendar®! Now Available! Every Bunkhouse wall needs one!

Click here to get the calendar, Official GilmerMetcalves Ranchwear® and more Official GilmerMetcalves Merchandise® than you can shake a steer's tail at!

Holiday Hangover!

2010-12-13T12:09:00.000-08:00

Click the image so you can read it!

Bring proof of any family member's guilt-trippin' for a free cocktail!
- Chloe "I'll be drunk in no time" Kleimenhagen, with The GilmerMetcalves, 2010

Don't let the holidays get past you without band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

All the free box wine and cheddar cheese you can eat with your fingers!

2010-08-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

Click it to make it bigger!

Check out band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

There'll be a lot of nice girls there ha!

2010-08-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

Click it to make it bigger!

Check out band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

July Fo-Down!

2010-07-01T17:21:00.001-07:00

Check out band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

Ride some cowboys!

2010-06-15T21:52:00.001-07:00

Cowgirls, too!
- Chloe "Me First!" Kleimenhagen, with The GilmerMetcalves, 2010

Check out band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

Sighting!

2010-06-07T14:00:00.001-07:00

Austin, Texas!

Check out band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

Spring has spranged!

2010-04-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

Click the image to see it bigger!

We and our pals are honored to rock the Vernal Equinox under the beautiful and famous Boxcar Willie Memorial Overpass in Red Oak, Texas! Get there before the ants do!
Chloe "Already In the Weeds" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2010.

Check out band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

Auditions!

2010-04-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

Our auditions for a new singer continue! Here are a couple of recent submissions.

We were really impressed with the talent on view here! But, it's a cat.

We never knew our pals, Otho and Zacchaeus, had so much soul! They're definite contenders!

Check out band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

Sighting!

2010-02-18T23:09:00.001-08:00

Dallas, Texas!

Come out and help us wrangle this decade into the mud where it belongs!

2009-12-27T21:10:00.000-08:00

There's has been some concern expressed that old man Yaswell will hear us in the barn and come running out with his trusty .410 in hand. No worries, he hits the hay (well not literally, since he does sleep in his shack) every night at 7:00 pm, and a meteor wiping out his front porch wouldn't wake him. He says New Years Eve is "just another damn night" and he's not likely to change his routine.
However, it's a good idea for us to wrap up our celebration and get out before his 5:00 am milking chores!
See you there!

Buck into the New Year with an Official GilmerMetcalves 2010 Calendar!

Buck into 2010!

2009-12-21T20:24:00.000-08:00

No matter what the late, great Freddie Fender said, you won't have "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights" with an Official GilmerMetcalves 2010 Calendar! Get one now, before 2010 stampedes in!

A Holiday Message!

2009-12-13T16:41:00.001-08:00

Hey it's – uh – it’s The GilmerMetcalves, We need you to do us a huge favor. Um, can you PLEASE take all the stress off your mind? There’s a big holiday and a new year coming up and you may want to enjoy it. So if you can, please relax. Just chill for a couple of weeks. You got to do this for us. Huge. Quickly. Bye.

New from GilmerMetcalves Ranchwear®

2009-11-16T15:09:00.001-08:00

Just in time for the holidays! Check out this new product with its award winning design and other favorite band merchandise at the Official GilmerMetcalves Online Shop!

Dance on Old Man Graves' Place!

2009-10-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Click on the image to see it bigger!

Saddle up with all your favorite Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
Join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

Elmer Wayne Has Left the Building!

2009-09-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

We’ve been inundated with questions about the delay of “Cigs and Whiskey”, and so we’ve decided to spill the scoop. Elmer Wayne has decided to leave the band, and we are using fill-in bass players until a permanent replacement can be found.
He was doing fine, until one of his weekly tequila and mescaline “treatments” (as he calls them) climaxed in his revelation that he is the reincarnation of Ayn Rand. Consequently, and because he believes his former life-self ordered him to, he has decided to give up music and run for public office on his own ultra Libertarian ticket. We have to give him credit for not chomping away at bigger cud than he can chew, since he has decided to pursue a seat at the Commissioners’ table in Dimmit County, Texas (of course).
The loss isn’t that great, really and what we really need is a singer. Elmer Wayne said he would stay and forgo his political ambition if he could have that job, but his rendition of “You’re So Vain” left everyone a little cold. Chloe has taken a stab or two at singing before, and her voice is good, but she would probably draw even more lonely, horny (the ones young enough to be) men to the gigs and we have enough of those already. And, being a New York Yankee, she sounds more Long Island than Llano Estacado, anyway.

Saddle up with all your favorite Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
Join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

The Aftermath

2009-09-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, the "Last Days in Hell End of Summer Fest" at the Quanah, TX Allsups parking lot was a great event. Unfortunately our photographer, Woodrow Shankshaw, didn't make it past Friday night's Tailgate Happy Hour kickoff and woke late Sunday afternoon. So documentation of the performances of our boys, as well as a blistering set by the Burnin' Hellbillies, the uplifting vocal stylings of Brother Cletus' Church Key Choir and the pole dancing talents of the Hotpoint Rangerettes will have to consist of tales told over firepits and shared tequila for years to come. Woodrow did drag his sorry self back from his motel poolside lounger soon enough to get shots of the aftermath, which we've included here. We were long gone, of course, and it appears the trash collection detail was even more tardy than Woody.
We're back in the studio, hoping to finish up "Cigs and Whiskey" in time for its insertion into Christmas stockings all over the civilized world, and a good chunk of the uncivilized world we seem to find ourselves in most of the time.
Till next we meet, good rockin', faithful fans!

Saddle up with all your favorite Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
Join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

It's almost quittin' time!

2009-08-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

So lay down those hoes, finish the milkin', tie up your fillies and come out to see us!

We're art! Who knew?

2009-06-30T22:55:00.000-07:00

Click on this image to see it bigger!

Check out "The GilmerMetcalves The Graphics" at the Atrium Gallery, Brookhaven College in Big D, Big TX! Now through August 14!
No, really!

Chloe "Art With a Capital A" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

The Latest from Red!

2009-06-28T20:02:00.001-07:00

We're still slaving away at Wild Turkey Studios, making music like there's no tomorrow (and recent events show there may not be!), but we're always happy to receive news from the outside world. Here's a note about the reclusive Red Sendup, sent (we think, there was no postmark, as it was sent by carrier pidgeon; who knew there were any of those still around?) by his girlfriend.
Here it is:

Lately, we've heard our old friend Red Sendup has descended into the madness that can only come from converting. Not in a religious sense, unless you pray to the late great analog god, Ampex. But, it seems his his old Scully 8-track is beyond repair, and tape prices have spiked so much, he got that wild hair that took Nashville by storm - going digital. He'd heard that "friends don't let friends go digital", but since sobering up a while back, most of his friends won't come near him. Only Dairy Queen herself manages to stop by to check on him, bring him some of her namesake ice cream. And she's never even heard of digital - and thinks analog is some kind of perversion of sorts. He's probably going to go all techno on us, and iron out any traditional country twangs that might survive the apocalypse. If he stays sober we might eventually hear something entirely different - this from the guy that Buck Owens once called "north of Lubbock road kill". If that doesn't say "country", well.....

Saddle up with all your favorite Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
Join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

A Shot at Wild Turkey!

2009-05-29T14:57:00.000-07:00

While we're busy writing, playing and recording our new CD "Cigs and Whiskey" we had to take a minute to share with everybody this treasure. Of course everyone knows the world famous Wild Turkey Studios, where we're ensconced until we finish "C&W", and its diminutive but dynamic proprietor, W.C. "Gum" Parker. So you can imagine our joy at being presented with an autographed picture of Mr. Parker, taken in the courtyard of his beautiful facility!
You can bet as soon as we get back to the Airstream it will be framed in barnwood and adorning The GilmerMetcalves' Wall of Honor, alongside Jake's toy guitar from his misspent boyhood and that piece of glass Jerry Wayne found outside of the DirtRoad Tavern after a gig in Zorn, Texas.

Click this beauty to see it bigger!

Saddle up with all your favorite Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Save the Swine, and catch the Boogie Woogie Flu, instead!

2009-05-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

While the media pigs out on panic over swine flu, focus is being lost on the danger to one of Texas' great examples of feral fauna; we must not let the treasured Havalina go anywhere near the endangered species list! So The GilmerMetcalves are proud to join their fellow musicians rooting for the magnificent beast by being a part of the Feral Hog Rescue Foundation's Cinco de Mayo celebration and benefit concert, "Save The 'Linas"!
BYOB, pulled pork barbeque included in the ticket price! Wiggle your pigglies on down on Saturday!

Chloe "The Other White Meat" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

Nothing sums up the GM's music better!

2009-04-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

We're risin' again!

2009-04-02T23:12:00.000-07:00

Click the image to see it bigger!

The Festival is searching for an itinerate preacher to perform the Sunday 10 am Sunrise Service, and a Pagan Priestess for Saturday night's Alternative Pagan Sacred Live Oak Moonlight Ceremony. All volunteers should contact the Festival organizers at
speggtacularmusicfest@live.com

Chloe “I Would Do It, But I Don’t Think God Is Real Happy With Me At The Moment” Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

On the way back from SXSW...

2009-03-18T23:54:00.001-07:00

...don't miss the other major music fest between Austin and Denton!
Of course that's IQ35, March 28 in beautiful West, Texas! Get a room at the Czech Inn, fuel your dance genes with kolaches from the Czech Stop, and check out the action at the VFW Hall, headlined by our very own GilmerMetcalves!

Chloe "Don't Be Gettin' Sick on Sixth Street" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

There's still time to keep up with the Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and as always, saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And time's a-wastin' to download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"! Soon these musical masterpieces will only be available on the upcoming new cd! Don't wait, get a free taste of a sonic supper soon to come!
Plus, now you can join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

Portrait!

2009-03-01T08:26:00.000-08:00

When an itinerant artist found himself at a gig, but without the required cover charge (and not being a hot babe with a GilmerMetcalves tattoo, a prerequisite for getting in free) the solution to the problem was an easy one!

On the spot he executed a pencil portrait of the Jagger/Richards, the Lennon/McCartney, the Lerner/Loewe, the Ashford/Simpson, the Romanovsky/Phillips, the Heckle/Jeckle, if you will, of the GilmerMetcalves, Clyde and Jake!

Of course he came on in and enjoyed the show, then the boys autographed it and here we present it for your viewing pleasure!

Chloe "I Don't Know What I Like, But I Know Art" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

You can still be drawn into the new year with the Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and as always, saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, music is art, too! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!
Plus, now you can join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

We're keeping our grip on the Panhandle!

2009-02-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

Click image to see it bigger!

There's still time to soak in the year with the Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and as always, saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing clears the ten gallon hat stressed head like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!
Plus, now you can join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

You can feel it in the air!

2009-02-05T06:02:00.001-08:00

We're fired up for Electra-Fest at the fabulous Den on the beautiful brick-lined streets of Electra, Texas! We'll make "shock and awe" a good thing!

Chloe "The Only Thing I Don't Like About Electra Is What It Does To My Hair" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

Shockingly, there's still time to keep your coming months straight with the Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and as always, saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing clears the ten gallon hat stressed head like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!
Plus, now you can join our exploding fan base on Facebook!

We'll be loud and clear...

2009-01-31T12:20:00.000-08:00

...at the fabulous Mulkey Theater in beautiful downtown Clarendon, TX! Don't fog over and miss it!

Chloe "We've got a firm grip on the Panhandle" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

Speaking of clarity, there's still time to keep your coming months straight with the Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and as always, saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing clears the ten gallon hat stressed head like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!

We're on Facebook!

2009-01-26T16:28:00.001-08:00

Sign up, type The GilmerMetcalves into the "Search" box and join our exploding fan base!

Chloe "I'd Be A Fan of Any Band That Would Have Me For A Fan" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

Start the new year right with your Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing spurs that new year hoss like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!

2009-01-18T12:49:00.000-08:00

Click the image to make it bigger!

Start the new year right with your Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing spurs that new year hoss like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

2009-01-09T22:55:00.000-08:00

Chloe "Q: Do you smoke after sex? A: I don't know, I never looked!" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

Start the new year right with your Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing spurs that new year hoss like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!

Song for the new year!

2009-01-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

While recovering from the Arrow Motel Ballroom New Years Eve extravaganza, Clyde wrote the lyrics to a new song he feels may be a musical icon for the new year. Here, for the first time, ready for any karaoke opportunities or sing-alongs at the next GilmerMetcalves' gig, is that song:

Her Interest Rate Dropped
(When She Found Out I Was Broke)

I was in a great depression
When she walked into the room
A vision of high yield beauty
She eased my sense of doom

We shared our thoughts of mutual fun
I was banking on sweet love
When she asked that fateful question
Like an audit from above

How much do you earn in a year?
I was just simple folk
And her interest rate dropped to zero
When she found out I was broke

She found out I was broke
She found out I was broke
It was the last time that we spoke
Her interest rate dropped to zero
When she found out I was broke

© The GilmerMetcalves (so no owlhoots can feather their own nests with it).

Chloe "Crash and Burn a Hole in my Pocket" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2009

Start the new year right with your Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing spurs that new year hoss like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!

2009-01-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

Start the new year right with your Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and saddle up with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing spurs that new year hoss like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!

We're Panhandling into the New Year!

2008-12-15T18:04:00.000-08:00

Click the image to see it bigger!

At the stroke of Midnight New Year's Eve we'll be turning into 09ers at the fabulous Arrow Motel Ballroom in beautiful Amarillo, Texas! Toast the new year and turn the old one into well-deserved toast with us and our special guests, local favorites Darla Jolene and Her Dreadful Dogs!

Chloe "Midnight can't come soon enough" Kleimenhagen,
with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

In the meantime, get your Official GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar and finish up on your Holiday gifting with other Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
And of course, nothing cheers up the Winter Season like music! Download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!

The perfect gift!

2008-12-03T19:37:00.001-08:00

Being on a record breaking Tour of the Great Southwest isn't keeping us from taking care of our army of blindly loyal fans in the rest of the civilized world!
So, just in time for the holidays, we present The GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar!
Including every day of all twelve months, with plenty of space for writing in notes of upcoming GilmerMetcalves appearances!
At only $19.99, it's the perfect holiday stocking stuffer for even These Troubled Times!
Besides, 2009 is going to be worth it!
Click here to order your GilmerMetcalves 2009 Calendar right now!

Chloe "Another Day, Another Self-Promotional Dollar" Kleimenhagen,
on tour with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

This is one day the Earth won't be standing still!

2008-11-30T15:10:00.000-08:00

Join us on the final leg of our Fall Tour of the Great Southwest with a stop in beautiful and notorious Roswell, New Mexico! If the success of other shows is any indication saucers (and bottles of beer and tequila) will be flyin'!

Chloe "I'm definitely from Venus, and the rest of the band is from Mars and Other Places" Kleimenhagen,
on tour with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

After Turkey Day, it's Dia de Cuervo!

2008-11-24T19:31:00.000-08:00

Wash down that Thanksgiving Day meal with some cold brews and fine tequila, while you dance off those new extra pounds at our Holiday Weekend show at the fabulous Club Chingadera in beautiful Cuervo, New Mexico!

Chloe "Save a Drumstick for Me" Kleimenhagen,
on tour with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

We're takin' the High Road!

2008-11-20T17:51:00.000-08:00

Our first gig on the High Road from Taos to Santa Fe is the boisterous Barn Dance in lovely Las Palmas!

Next is the stupendous Staggerin' Bear Dance Hall in the handsome hamlet of Truchas!

Then we move on to the primo Petroleum Club in charming Chimayo!

Come party with us at all three! They're not that far apart!

Chloe "I'm More Accustomed to the Low Road, Myself" Kleimenhagen,
on tour with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Sighting! Taos, New Mexico

2008-11-14T18:05:00.000-08:00

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

We'll play for our most rabid fans!

2008-11-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

Click the picture to see it bigger!

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

They're gonna need air conditioning!

2008-11-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

We'll heat up even Arizona when we play the beautiful
Welcome Air Conditioned Motel on Highway 89!

Chloe "Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Me?" Kleimenhagen,
on tour with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

We'll be wakin' the dead!

2008-10-23T17:12:00.001-07:00

Click the image to see it larger!

First stop on the tour is the fabulous Club De Escorpión in beautiful Antelope Wells, New Mexico! Join us while we shake some bones and rattle some skulls!

Chloe "Does This Skeleton Costume Make Me Look Fat?" Kleimenhagen,
on tour with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

And we're off!

2008-10-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

Click the image to see it larger!

We're hitting the road and riding it hard for the next month and a half! Check in every few days for updates and info!

Chloe "Head 'Em Up, Move 'Em Out" Kleimenhagen,
On the road with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Meanwhile, listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

¡Permítanos el partido!

2008-10-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

Even though we're in rehearsal for the upcoming Fall Tour of New Mexico and The Great Southwest (commencing in just one week!), we're always available for an extra gig or five before and after! So keep us in mind when meeting your entertainment needs for those quinceaneras, bar and bat mitzvahs, wedding receptions, and/or secret rituals by moonlight beside the Sacred Mesquite Tree!

Chloe "Queen of the Quinceaneras" Kleimenhagen,
rehearsing and scaring up business with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Livestock lullabies!

2008-10-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

When preparing for a major tour rehearsal time is essential! And when it can be coordinated with a gig doing good for our hooved friends, so much the better. So it is that we found ourselves crooning to sleep the magnificent show cattle at the legendary State Fair of Texas. They were much appreciative, of course, as the mellifluous music provided by the band eased the bovines from the excitement of the day into the sweet slumber of night. Soon the gentle lowing turned to sometimes guttural snoring...but we woke up Clyde before he disturbed our snoozing charges!
Just kidding, Clyde!

Anyway, we had the opportunity to polish some of our more easy listening numbers for a decidedly uncritical audience...good preparation for those more laid back fans we expect to find in Santa Fe and Taos during our upcoming Fall 2008 Tour of New Mexico and The Great Southwest!

Chloe "Wake Me When It's Over" Kleimenhagen,
rehearsing with The GilmerMetcalves at the State Fair of Texas, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Friendly reminder!

2008-09-21T16:57:00.001-07:00

Meanwhile, listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

It’s a wrap!

2008-09-02T19:27:00.001-07:00

The soon to be legend in song and story GilmerMetcalves Hill Country Tour 08 has come to its screeching halt this past Labor Day weekend, with an amazing live guerilla concert on the grounds of the historic and eristic Alamo.

I say “screeching halt” because the squeal of braking tires mixed with the wail of sirens and the chop-chop-chop of local news helicopters overhead to bring a rousing version of “There She Was (Gone)”, accompanied by a robust tourist singalong, now that the long debated lyrical contribution of Red Sendup is out in the open for all to enjoy and memorize for just such an occasion, to a premature end.

We were barely into our second set, when apparently the local constabulary decided the first set was quite enough. Also apparent was the total lack of serious crime afoot that particular Sunday afternoon, since it seemed well over half of San Antonio’s Finest converged on our little recital and shut down the proceedings with extreme prejudice!
All was not lost, however, since the lack of excitement in other sections of town meant the local news channels had none of the usual stabbings, shootings, and car crashes to fill their usual quota of such folderol, so we were front and center on all four channels!

This photo below was sent to us by a fan, and it only begins to suggest the ensuing chaos.

A fitting end to a remarkable six month musical promenade!
But we haven’t long to rest and recuperate, basking in the Texas sunset glory of several jobs well done!

The GilmerMetcalves Fall of 08 Tour of New Mexico and the Great Southwest begins soon with dates and venues to be announced as soon as we know what they are ourselves.
Of course, as always you can keep apprised of the latest barn burning (literally, sometimes) gigs on this blog. Check in often and early!

Chloe “It Would Be Miller Time If I Drank That Crap, Hand Me The Patron Bottle Instead” Kleimenhagen,
relaxing with the GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

There she was...

2008-08-21T20:57:00.000-07:00

That mix of smoking and whiskey has taken a toll on Jake's voice, making his usual melodious croak more froggy than usual, but our audiences have been very helpful by singing along and providing some impromptu and much needed harmonizing.

They know most of the lyrics by heart, but one song has been the subject of much controversy, causing all kinds of arguments, and an occasional bout of fisticuffs in the first few rows. So to soothe the savage beasts, and to actually finish a concert without the local constabulary being called in to manage the melee, we've decided to publish the lyrics to the tune in question.

Along with the content of the lyrics, another rumor that has floated around is regarding the author of this particular ditty. We can now, with his permission, put any questions to rest. The legends are true. "There She Was (Gone)", from our eponymous debut cd, was co-written by the mysterious and reclusive poetic genius of the plains, Red Sendup! Red's notorious monastic lifestyle led him to insist his lyrical contribution to "There She Was (Gone)" be kept a closely guarded secret (although he happily cashed the royalty checks on his rare trips into town). But being a man of peace and harmony, he hated to hear of the tussles resulting from the questions about the song's origins, and he decided to come out as the lyricist and accept the accolades he so richly deserves. So here, for the first time, are the complete lyrics to our classic medium slow shuffle in "C", "There She Was (Gone)".

There She Was (Gone)

Verse 1

There She Was (Gone)
Like a sunset in June
Her memory lingers in the stillness
She was here this afternoon

Verse 2

She stopped by to tell me
That I was worthless and crass and cruel
I'm not the man she'd dreamed of
She was leaving me for veterinary school

Bridge

Oh how the moment was fleeting
Like a butterfly over well cut lawns
Life turned me around in a heart beat
She was there and she was gone

Verse 3

She leaned in to say "Sucker"
I'd left her my bank account numbers
She was taking my hard earned money
She didn't need my car or my lumber

Verse 4

There She Was (Gone)
A vision of love lost forever
I ventured a guess of her return
She said that would be - never

Bridge

Oh how the moment was fleeting
Like a butterfly over well cut lawns
Life turned me around in a heart beat
She was there and she was gone
She was there and she was gone
She was there and........she was gone

Chloe "At Least I'm Still Here" Kleimenhagen,
somewhere in the Texas Hill Country with The GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

We will BUCK this venue!

2008-08-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

After the eight second rides are done, all the barrels have been rounded, and all the steers have been bulldogged, let the dancin' commence!

Chloe "For God's Sake Water That Grass" Kleimenhagen,
with the GilmerMetcalves, 2008

Meanwhile, listen up and download "A Rough Ride in Luxury" and
"The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", then saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

The boys are in a mellow mood!

2008-08-07T16:26:00.001-07:00

Click the image to see it bigger.

The road is hard, and sometimes we feel like we've been put away wet! On those late nights after a great show the band will get together and jam until sunup, much to the chagrin of other guests in the motel (if we are in fact staying in a motel, and not beside the van parked off a country road).
The breathtaking response to "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma" inspired us to share another instrumental product of one of those more mellow sessions with another download for your anticipating ears!
So relax with the intoxicant of your choice, click here to download and give a listen to "A Rough Ride in Luxury". It'll bring a little New Age into your Old West!

Chloe "I Know a Little About Luxurious Rough Rides" Kleimenhagen
with The GilmerMetcalves,
somewhere in the Texas Hill Country, 2008

Listen up and download "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!
Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Oat Couture!

2008-07-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Whether living on a ranch or in the urban frontier, you can still look casually fabulous in official GilmerMetcalves Casual Ranchwear®!
Click here for The GilmerMetcalves Store and see not only fine outlaw apparel, but other lifestyle accessories which show the world your musical and graphic tastes didn't just fall off the hay wagon!

Chloe "We Herd the Crass Out of Commercialism" Kleimenhagen,
Looking fine in GilmerMetcalves gear, 2008

Granbury us not on the lone prairie!

2008-07-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

The next leg of our fabulous Hill Country Tour of '08 brings us to the
Northernmost outpost of the THC (no, not that, we mean the Texas Hill Country), historic Granbury, where we'll play a Saturday night hoedown at the beautiful Brazos Motel Ballroom!
It's on the banks of the cool and inviting Lake Granbury, a dammed up section of the Brazos River. But when The GilmerMetcalves cut loose, it may not stay dammed up for long! So get out to the Motel and, in the words of another great Texas musician, "Stay all night and stay a little longer"!

Chloe "I Lost My Bra in the Brazos" Kleimenhagen
with The GilmerMetcalves,
somewhere in the Texas Hill Country, 2008

Listen up and download "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma"!
Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma

2008-07-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Greetings! We're taking a break from our exciting Hill Country Tour '08 (and to recover from the now legendary Fourth of July Beerbust!) to assuage our countless fans and satisfy their internet needs!

By popular demand, we offer, for those so unfortunate to have never witnessed a GilmerMetcalves live concert and/or those who do not have access to our cds, a sample of The GilmerMetcalves at their finest. This instrumental, "The Ballad of el Toro de Fantasma", is now available for your listening pleasure!

Simply click the post title above, download to your favorite music player and be prepared for an aural encounter perfect for those nights around the campfire trying to survive another dinner of Ol' Skillet-Slinger's Bean Surprise!

Enjoy, and get ready for The GilmerMetcalves to come to a fine venue near you!

Chloe "Ear Candy Never Rots Your Teeth" Kleimenhagen,
Somewhere in the Texas Hill Country, 2008

Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Firecrackin'!

2008-07-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

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Run 'em over, then come on over!

2008-06-01T13:59:00.000-07:00

Click the image to see it bigger!

Then, saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Sighting! Johnson City, Texas

2008-06-01T13:43:00.000-07:00

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Chow down, then get down!

2008-04-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

Click the image to see it bigger!

Then, saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!

Coming to a hill near you!

2008-02-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

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Sightings! Dallas, Tx

2008-02-14T16:50:00.000-08:00

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Hoedown at the Nervous Hospital

2008-02-02T10:15:00.000-08:00

To paraphrase another cult band’s description of itself, this is more a legend than a performance! But this guerilla concert by the GilmerMetcalves now is documented for all to marvel at…and maybe even be driven crazy by.

It was a sunny afternoon on the expansive lawn of the State Mental Hospital in Terrell, Texas. The patients were enjoying the Northeast Texas sunshine and fellowshipping together, but there was something lacking. Their feet twitched, their hips longed to shimmy, they lusted for that proverbial soother of the savage breast, music!

As if in answer to their hankerin’, a Ford Econoline rumbled onto the grounds and out poured our own masters of Americana, The GilmerMetcalves, with guitars, drums, fiddles, washboards, jugs (besides mine, thank you very much), a vintage used Hammond organ purchased at a yard sale passed on the way to the gig, and a generator to power the whole thing. Quickly setting up, the boys ripped into a fiery version of “Damn That Bitch is Cold” followed, with hardly a breath taken, by a mashup of “The Yellow Rose of Texas” and “Black Hay Blues”.

The residents bopped and pogoed with all the reckless abandon you would expect until the final number was interrupted by the howl of Highway Patrol, county sheriff and local police sirens fast approaching. Jake thought the screaming approach gave “I Like My Steak Chicken Fried and My Women Covered in Cream Gravy” a much needed je nais se qua, but saw the wisdom in wrapping up, loading up and piloting the Econoline over the nearest hedge and onto a back road out of town, much to the disappointment of the audience, although they added to the cacophony by robustly cheering the entertainment they had just experienced.

Now, with the official release of “Hoedown at the Nervous Hospital” you can virtually be there, with all the incomparable sound quality never matched by the many bootleg versions making the rounds. Get a copy, take your meds and join the party!

Chloe “Now Where Did I Put That Paxil, Oh Never Mind, Let’s Just Dance Our Cares Away” Kleimenhagen,
Austin, TX 2008

Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise now!

We'll keep 'em swingin'!

2008-01-20T13:45:00.000-08:00

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Sighting!

2008-01-19T08:36:00.001-08:00

Backstage, Cheese Ballroom, Coyote Acres, Tx

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Sighting! Austin, Tx

2008-01-06T15:07:00.000-08:00

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Saturday night fever in the funkhouse!

2008-01-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

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Happy Solstice!

2007-12-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

To all the unnumbered fans of this ersatz band, happy holidays, whatever they may be to you!

Chloe "Thank God This is the Shortest Day of the Year" Kleimenhagen
Austin, Texas, 2007

Just in time for the holidays!

2007-11-27T20:16:00.001-08:00

Tracks:
1. Black Hay Blues
2. I Saw My Regrets Reflected in the Bong Water
3. The Fuschia Tongued Devil and I
4. I Like My Steak Chicken Fried and My Women Covered in Cream Gravy
5. Bad Girls Made Good (By Being Badder)
6. Texas History Movies
7. They Whupped Daddy (But Momma Mauled ‘Em All)
8. My Sister’s in Prison for Killin’ Her Man While He was in Heaven Drillin’ Her Hired Hand
9. Life’s a Train (And My Heart’s on the Tracks)
10. She's Ridden My Bull, Way Past the Buzzer

The non-band of the year is back with their sophomoric effort, “Nothing But Black Hay Left”! Inspired by the lamentations of a fellow partier upon discovering the bong bowl contained only the charred sprigs of what had been a ticket to, as Carlos Castaneda used to say, a separate reality, this title holds a collection of tunes sure to set your boots to sliding, if not staggering, across your own makeshift dance floor (just make sure it’s a floor and not I-35!)!
What better gift for your alt-country fan who wants a little something different in his/her saddlebag this year than this heady brew of faux punkabilly?
Answer: As they say in the Boonies, “Ner’ern”!

Chloe “Corn Squeezin’” Kleimenhagen,
Austin, Texas, 2007

Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise now!

Introducing...The GilmerMetcalves!

2007-11-05T11:10:00.001-08:00

Tracks:

1. She Went Out Lookin’ for a Stallion
But She Brought Home A Horse’s Ass
2. Goin‘ Nowhere in a Heartbeat
3. Camel Toe Blues
4. When We Made Love
She Called Me “Joe”
(But That Ain’t Never
Been My Name)
5. There She Was (Gone)
6. The Legend of A Lassoin’ Lesbian
7. Toke Hill Boogie
9. Corn Pony Blues
10. Back End Done Blowed Out
11. Damn That Bitch Is Cold

As a discriminating consumer of music, you will, I know, agree with the following truism. It is rare indeed to find an artist or ensemble of artists that not only excels in a genre of music, but redefines that musical form.
In the classical realm we may name Schoenberg, in jazz perhaps Coltrane, in rock music Elvis or the Beatles, in Punk the Sex Pistols, in the “post-punk” arena Joy Division or Bauhaus, in traditional country certainly George Jones, Willie Nelson, or more recently the Dixie Chicks as examples of those who have taken their respective oeuvres and remade them in a new and exciting image (or sound in this case).
In the arena of Americana, that aural offspring of rock and roll and country music that first sprang from its roots some thirty+ years ago to dominate a nation hungry for its plain-spoken ideals of smoking marijuana, drinking Wild Turkey and engaging in backwoods parties late into the wee hours of any given evening, we may ask plaintively who will come forward and give us a new taste of this essential music?
The answer is here.
A group of extraordinary musicians have come together to form what will no doubt be a history making gathering and they have taken a name that will live in musical history for decades to come. That name, that band, that group of musical innovators are:
The GilmerMetcalves!
So roundup your pards and get this little dogie along into your CD player! A truly boot scootin', bum scattershootin' musical adventure awaits!

- Chloe "Sweetheart of the Rodeo" Kleimenhagen,
Austin, Texas 2007

Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise now!