Happy Solstice!

To all the unnumbered fans of this ersatz band, happy holidays, whatever they may be to you!

Chloe "Thank God This is the Shortest Day of the Year" Kleimenhagen
Austin, Texas, 2007

Just in time for the holidays!

Tracks:
1. Black Hay Blues
2. I Saw My Regrets Reflected in the Bong Water
3. The Fuschia Tongued Devil and I
4. I Like My Steak Chicken Fried and My Women Covered in Cream Gravy
5. Bad Girls Made Good (By Being Badder)
6. Texas History Movies
7. They Whupped Daddy (But Momma Mauled ‘Em All)
8. My Sister’s in Prison for Killin’ Her Man While He was in Heaven Drillin’ Her Hired Hand
9. Life’s a Train (And My Heart’s on the Tracks)
10. She's Ridden My Bull, Way Past the Buzzer

The non-band of the year is back with their sophomoric effort, “Nothing But Black Hay Left”! Inspired by the lamentations of a fellow partier upon discovering the bong bowl contained only the charred sprigs of what had been a ticket to, as Carlos Castaneda used to say, a separate reality, this title holds a collection of tunes sure to set your boots to sliding, if not staggering, across your own makeshift dance floor (just make sure it’s a floor and not I-35!)!
What better gift for your alt-country fan who wants a little something different in his/her saddlebag this year than this heady brew of faux punkabilly?
Answer: As they say in the Boonies, “Ner’ern”!

Chloe “Corn Squeezin’” Kleimenhagen,
Austin, Texas, 2007

Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise now!

Introducing...The GilmerMetcalves!

Tracks:

1. She Went Out Lookin’ for a Stallion
But She Brought Home A Horse’s Ass
2. Goin‘ Nowhere in a Heartbeat
3. Camel Toe Blues
4. When We Made Love
She Called Me “Joe”
(But That Ain’t Never
Been My Name)
5. There She Was (Gone)
6. The Legend of A Lassoin’ Lesbian
7. Toke Hill Boogie
9. Corn Pony Blues
10. Back End Done Blowed Out
11. Damn That Bitch Is Cold

As a discriminating consumer of music, you will, I know, agree with the following truism. It is rare indeed to find an artist or ensemble of artists that not only excels in a genre of music, but redefines that musical form.
In the classical realm we may name Schoenberg, in jazz perhaps Coltrane, in rock music Elvis or the Beatles, in Punk the Sex Pistols, in the “post-punk” arena Joy Division or Bauhaus, in traditional country certainly George Jones, Willie Nelson, or more recently the Dixie Chicks as examples of those who have taken their respective oeuvres and remade them in a new and exciting image (or sound in this case).
In the arena of Americana, that aural offspring of rock and roll and country music that first sprang from its roots some thirty+ years ago to dominate a nation hungry for its plain-spoken ideals of smoking marijuana, drinking Wild Turkey and engaging in backwoods parties late into the wee hours of any given evening, we may ask plaintively who will come forward and give us a new taste of this essential music?
The answer is here.
A group of extraordinary musicians have come together to form what will no doubt be a history making gathering and they have taken a name that will live in musical history for decades to come. That name, that band, that group of musical innovators are:
The GilmerMetcalves!
So roundup your pards and get this little dogie along into your CD player! A truly boot scootin', bum scattershootin' musical adventure awaits!

- Chloe "Sweetheart of the Rodeo" Kleimenhagen,
Austin, Texas 2007

Saddle up with all of your official GilmerMetcalves merchandise now!