We’ve been inundated with questions about the delay of “Cigs and Whiskey”, and so we’ve decided to spill the scoop. Elmer Wayne has decided to leave the band, and we are using fill-in bass players until a permanent replacement can be found.
He was doing fine, until one of his weekly tequila and mescaline “treatments” (as he calls them) climaxed in his revelation that he is the reincarnation of Ayn Rand. Consequently, and because he believes his former life-self ordered him to, he has decided to give up music and run for public office on his own ultra Libertarian ticket. We have to give him credit for not chomping away at bigger cud than he can chew, since he has decided to pursue a seat at the Commissioners’ table in Dimmit County, Texas (of course).
The loss isn’t that great, really and what we really need is a singer. Elmer Wayne said he would stay and forgo his political ambition if he could have that job, but his rendition of “You’re So Vain” left everyone a little cold. Chloe has taken a stab or two at singing before, and her voice is good, but she would probably draw even more lonely, horny (the ones young enough to be) men to the gigs and we have enough of those already. And, being a New York Yankee, she sounds more Long Island than Llano Estacado, anyway.
Saddle up with all your favorite Official GilmerMetcalves merchandise!
Join our exploding fan base on Facebook!
No comments:
Post a Comment